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Keep two or three go-to questions
The best go-to questions are ones the guest loves to ask and loves to answer, kept in the back pocket for any stranger. A good question also fits the setting. At a block party where the neighbors are hanging out, a question about local hidden gems around the neighborhood connects people to their block.
Anything can be the answer: a favorite park, bench, or bar. Most people have one.
Why do local hangouts bond neighbors?
Sociologist Ray Oldenburg called these spots third places, informal public gathering places that are neither home nor work. In his 1989 book The Great Good Place, he argued that neighborhood cafes, bars, and parks give people regular, low-pressure contact with those who live nearby. Regulars come to know one another without planning to. Oldenburg's examples included pubs, barbershops, and general stores.
Why do people like those who ask questions?
In a 2017 study led by Karen Huang with Michael Yeomans, Alison Wood Brooks, Julia Minson, and Francesca Gino, people who asked more questions were better liked by their conversation partners. Follow-up questions, which show the asker was listening, had the strongest effect. In a speed-dating part of the study, people who asked more follow-up questions were more likely to get second dates.
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