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Which discomfort lasts longer?
Which is longer
A brother put it to dating coach Sabrina Zohar as a question: which of the two is longer? It floored her. Plenty of people avoid the first because they don't want to hurt the other person, they would have to split finances, and they would have to start dating again, so they stay where they are.
Staying is a choice
Staying is a choice, and anyone content with lifelong discomfort has made it. Leaving can mean six, eight, or 12 months of discomfort, depending on the dynamic, and then the chance to reclaim your life and show up for yourself.
Sick and tired
Her mother has a line for the moment of change: when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, you'll make a change. Everyone told Zohar to walk away from her ex, and she stayed until she reached that point.
Why do people stay after investing so much?
In 1985, Hal Arkes and Catherine Blumer of Ohio University sold theater season tickets at full price or at a discount. Buyers who paid full price attended more plays in the first half of the season, even though everyone held tickets for the same shows. They called this the sunk cost effect, where past investment pulls on a decision about the future even though it cannot be recovered.
Why do people overestimate how long pain lasts?
Psychologist Daniel Gilbert and colleagues call it the impact bias. In a 1998 study, Gilbert, Elizabeth Pinel, Timothy Wilson, Stephen Blumberg, and Thalia Wheatley found that people predicted bad outcomes, such as a denied tenure bid or a lost election, would hurt more intensely and for longer than they actually did. They attributed this to immune neglect, where forecasts leave out the mind's habit of making sense of events and recovering.
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