Leave Your Phone Out of Dinner and the Bedroom
Seed investor David Frankel says he thinks about family the way he thinks about founders and their teams.
20VC with Harry Stebbings · The AI Boom Will Create Enormous Roadkill: Who Wins & Loses? | David FrankelDavid Frankel, a seed investor at the venture firm Founder Collective, has spent his career judging how founders treat their teams. When asked for his advice on a happy marriage, he answered, "kindness and being present."
His method is simple and strict about phones. Frankel said, "no phones are allowed anywhere near the dining room table." He said he does not take his phone to his bedroom, and his phone is never alongside his bed.
Presence, for him, is more than location. He described it as being present and involved, looking the other person in the eye, and using body language to show he is hearing them and invested in them. He joked that he does not need his phone to be distracted, because his own mind distracts him perfectly.
He said he thinks about his wife, his kids, his siblings, and his parents the way he thinks about founders and their teams. He called the question of how to show them you are present, you are there, and they matter to you the lifelong goal and the quest. He said he has not got this nailed.
Questions people ask
Where should I put my phone at night if not by the bed?
Frankel's rule is simply that the phone does not go to the bedroom and is never alongside the bed. He also keeps phones away from the dining table at dinner time.
What if I get distracted even without my phone?
Frankel only joked that his own mind distracts him perfectly, without giving a fix for that. As a practical step a reader could try, pick one return cue, like eye contact and repeating back what you heard. That step is my suggestion, not his.
What does being present actually look like?
He described it as being present and involved, looking the other person in the eye, and using body language to show he is hearing them and invested in them. In his words, the aim is to show his wife, kids, siblings, and parents that they matter to him.