Most Children Lie by Age 4, and That Is Normal
A simple card game shows some children start lying as young as 2, and it is part of typical development.
TED · Can you really tell if a kid is lying? | Kang LeeSome children begin lying as young as age 2, and most lie by age 4.
Kang Lee, a researcher who has studied children's lying for 20 years, found that pattern with a card-guessing game. Children were told they could win a big prize, then the adult left the room and told them not to look at the cards. Hidden cameras showed more than 90 percent looked anyway.
Among the children who peeked, 30 percent of 2-year-olds lied about it, as did 50 percent of 3-year-olds and more than 80 percent of 4-year-olds. The results were similar regardless of gender, country, or religion.
Lee uses a story to illustrate three common beliefs: Richard Messina, an elementary school principal, got a call saying Johnny was sick, then learned the caller was Johnny pretending to be his father. The beliefs are that children start lying only in elementary school, that children are poor liars adults can easily catch, and that early lying signals a lasting character flaw. Lee's study found each is wrong.
Questions people ask
Does lying at age 2 or 3 mean my child will grow up dishonest?
No. Developmental researchers treat first lies as a normal milestone, not evidence of bad character. In Lee's study, lying was common across gender, country, and religion.
Why do some toddlers lie while others the same age tell the truth?
It is largely about thinking skills, not boldness. Children tend to lie earlier when they better grasp that other people do not know what they know, and when they have stronger self control over what they say and do.