Take small work fights to a private room before they grow
A bell, a private room, and a handbook rule make nightly friction normal and private.
The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant · Can Conflict Actually Make Our Relationships Stronger? with Priya ParkerPriya Parker, a facilitator who helps groups handle conflict, points to Canlis, a third-generation, family-owned restaurant in the Pacific Northwest, as an interesting example of how a team handles tension well.
Canlis has two separate, private, one-on-one spaces for stepping aside to talk, not in front of everyone. When staff members start to bicker on the floor, a staffer rings a bell and says "Take it to the Hooch," sending them to the Hooch, one of those rooms. The other is called the Cachet.
The rule is in the employee handbook, which says, "Take the person aside. Do not do it in front of other people." Parker says the message is that there will be "many moments of conflict every night of service," and "this is not a disaster. This is actually how we team."
Parker calls the habit "molehill clearing," handling small kerfuffles early through direct conversation. It starts, she says, with a leader or manager normalizing the practice.
When it is not handled, Parker says, people talk behind each other's backs or "post oblique stories on Instagram about" what is going on in their team.
To try it, pick a private place, give everyone permission to use it, and agree on a clear phrase that takes the moment out of the room.
Questions people ask
What do you actually say once you get to the private room?
Keep it short, specific, and forward looking. Say what just happened, how it landed, and what you want next time, then let the other person respond. Aim for a few minutes, not a full airing of grievances.
Does this work outside a restaurant?
Yes, with adjustments. The key pieces are privacy, speed, and permission to pause the work for a minute. An office, shop, or crew can name any quiet corner and use the same rule: take it aside, not in front of others.
What if someone refuses to step aside?
Do not force it on the spot. Let a manager or trusted peer invite both people to step aside, and return to it within the shift. If someone regularly refuses, treat that as a separate management conversation about teamwork.