To help a child thrive, connect, talk, and play early and often
Copycat games build empathy, naming games build vocabulary, and peekaboo builds memory and trust.
TED · How Every Child Can Thrive by Five | Molly Wright | TEDMolly Wright, age seven, gave a talk about powerful things grownups can do that shape children, using her neighbor Amarjot and his baby son Ari for a live demonstration.
Her point was that healthy development depends on five supports. They are connecting, talking, playing, a healthy home, and community. Scientists call the first three serve and return, which Molly translated as connect, talk, and play with children.
For connect, she pointed to a copycat game. Amarjot and Ari laughed together. Molly said, “Copycat games build imagination and empathy.”
For talk, she pointed to a naming game. Amarjot said, “Daddy,” and “Ari.” Molly said, “Naming games build vocabulary and attention.”
For play, she pointed to peekaboo. Amarjot said, “Peekaboo.” Molly said games like peekaboo build memory and trust.
Molly said each time adults talk with children, play with them, and make them laugh, it “builds and strengthens our relationships and mental health” while teaching life skills she linked to making friends, taking the test, getting jobs, and one day starting families of their own.
The method is to start early and repeat often. Molly said the most special period is the first five years. Molly said, “Every moment together is an opportunity to connect, talk and play.” Those connect, talk, and play moments mean more than they look, she said: “To us, the children, it’s so much more than just a game.”
Questions people ask
Do I need special toys or a lot of time to do serve and return?
No. The examples Molly showed used only voice, face, and attention, like imitating sounds, naming people, and playing peekaboo. Child development researchers say these short, repeated moments during feeding, bathing, walking, or waiting count, and ordinary household objects work as well as toys.
Does this only apply to parents?
No. Molly framed it as something any grownup can do, and listed community as one of the five supports alongside connecting, talking, and playing. Grandparents, neighbors, babysitters, teachers, and family friends can all use serve and return when they are with a child.
Does connecting stop mattering after age five?
No, although the first five years are a period of especially rapid brain growth. Older children and teenagers still benefit from responsive conversation, play, and steady relationships. The activities change with age, from peekaboo to board games, sports, reading together, and talking about the day.