Told His Odds Were 50-50, a Lawyer Wanted Only to Get Back to Work

The woman who read the X-ray was stark white. Joshua Sussberg, a restructuring partner at Kirkland & Ellis who advises struggling companies, had come in because he could not breathe and could not run anymore. The woman who read the X-ray told him, "you have a huge mass in the middle of your chest."

It was 2016. Sussberg had felt sick for a couple of months but had kept working and traveling. He had three young children at home. His father-in-law had thought it might be pneumonia. Within two days of the biopsy, he was in a hospital bed, where he would stay for a month.

What followed was eight months mostly out of work and moving between home and hospital for treatment for T-cell lymphoblastic lymphoma, a fast growing blood cancer. He wanted his old job back after cancer.

One of the first doctors called it a "50-50 jump ball." Sussberg latched onto the basketball phrase. His wife fell to the floor when she heard the odds. He said, "I like to win jump balls, so we'll get going."

From the start, he focused on how soon he could return. Sussberg said, "I wanted to know exactly how long it was going to be because I wanted to get back to work because I like what I do." People thought he was crazy for focusing on work from his hospital bed.

His doctor said many patients use a serious illness as a reason to leave their careers and find different work. He kept telling her he already had work he loved and wanted to resume it. For some people, trauma sends them searching for work they feel passionate about. He said he had already found it.

He returned in early 2017, and by his own account he came back too soon. He had just finished chemotherapy and a week or two in the hospital, stayed home a few days, and then went straight to the office exhausted and unwell. He says he probably should have taken another couple of weeks off, but he battled through.

Ten years later, he says he thinks about cancer far less often, which he calls human nature. But he uses the memory on purpose. When he catches himself complaining about missing an event with his family or taking too early a flight, he reminds himself of that hospital year to prioritize better and stay balanced.