When Nature Scares You, Sit Still and Look at It
A friend talked Lucy DK into gazing at a garden spider instead of killing it, and the pause began to change how she saw fear.
bitch, that's my kind of worship! · Ep 008: From Hater to Lover - Why I Became a Nature BabeLucy DK once felt fully justified in destroying things in nature that frightened her. A friend talked her into sitting still and looking at a spider in her garden, and that short pause began to loosen her fear.
The friend, the woman who had introduced Lucy to her yoga school and was deep in her own spiritual journey, watched Lucy react to a huge spider in the garden with fear and aversion. She was bemused, Lucy recalls, and beckoned her closer. Come closer, she said, and just gaze at the spider. They were outside, the friend said, in the garden, in the spider's home.
Lucy did as she was asked and, as she put it, sat with the spider to "contemplate it for a little while." She says she did not feel a connection with the spider then, only that she was starting to expand her consciousness a little.
Before, Lucy said, "I felt so righteous and justified in my aim to destroy things that scared me in the natural world." That meant crushing a spider in her space, or rushing through a dark forest while breaking branches out of the way without thinking about it.
To borrow that shape for yourself, wait for the impulse to crush or rush, then stop where you are. Sit still and gaze for a little while, remembering that you are in its home.
Questions people ask
Does just looking at a spider actually help with fear?
Yes, there is good evidence. Gradual, safe exposure is a core technique for phobias, and it often starts simply with looking, then approaching in small steps while staying calm. It works best when you control the distance, you can leave at any time, and you repeat the exposure.
What if the spider might be dangerous?
Do not touch it, and keep a respectful distance. Watch from a few feet away, enjoy that you share the space, and leave it alone. If you are in a region with medically significant spiders, learn the few risky species from a local wildlife guide and call a professional for anything inside your home.
How long should I sit and watch?
A few minutes is enough to start. Researchers and therapists often use brief sessions of several minutes, repeated over days. The point is to stay long enough for the first spike of alarm to soften, then stop while the experience is still manageable.