When Pressure Spikes, Ask What You Want to Feel Instead
A business owner uses a short body check and two questions to avoid taking over.
Women Under Pressure · How To Pursue Ambition with Intention, with Chelsea RyckisChelsea Ryckis, the co-founder and president of Ethos Benefits, used to treat every problem as an emergency that only she could fix. A year into motherhood, after years at that pace, she started using a short pause that lets her notice her body and choose what to do next, rather than reacting just to feel comfortable.
The pause starts with the body. When she feels her shoulders clench or her stomach turn nauseous, she stops and takes a breath. Then she asks herself, "what do I want to feel instead?" The answer changes with the moment. Sometimes it is empowered, sometimes aggressive when she has to fight on behalf of a client, sometimes grounded, and sometimes peaceful when she is with her son.
Then, Ryckis said, she asks a second question: "what do I need to do to feel that way?" And she does that. If the answer is peaceful, it might mean stepping outside briefly for air or holding her baby close. She said she will follow that answer even when it differs from what the situation seems to call for, because staying aligned with herself produces a better result over time.
She pairs that inner check with an outer one: whether the moment truly needs her to step in. Tension in the chest or jaw is information that you are reacting, not proof that you should take over. As general advice, the options after a pause might be to act, to offer guidance, or to let someone else handle it.
Stepping back was possible because she had set up clear ownership and simple check-ins to confirm tasks were handled, so she did not have to ask daily for updates. If you try it, discomfort may linger after you step back. That discomfort deserves attention but is not proof you chose wrong. Next time pressure spikes, start by noticing your shoulders.
Questions people ask
How long does this kind of pause have to take?
It can be very brief. Stop where you are, notice what you feel in your body, and take a few slow breaths before you decide. Even a short break at your desk or in a hallway can give you room to choose a next step.
What if I cannot step away to get sun or take a walk?
Pick the smallest shift that moves you toward the feeling you named. That might be loosening your shoulders, drinking water, closing your eyes for three breaths, or writing down the next step instead of reacting. The point is to interrupt the automatic takeover, not to leave for long.
How do I make it safe to not jump in at work?
Make the work visible so trust does not depend on worry. Write down who owns each task, when it is due, and how completion will be confirmed, such as a shared tracker or brief update. Clear ownership lets you check the system instead of checking on the person.