You Have Three to Four Times More Stories Than You Think. Write Them Down.
Sort each story by the feeling it creates, then pick the one that gives your listener the feeling you need.
TEDx Talks · The magical science of storytelling | David JP Phillips | TEDxStockholmDavid JP Phillips, a trainer who coaches people in presentation skills, says meetings should turn less on slides and more on stories. Phillips, who says some know him as "Mr. Death by PowerPoint," offers a fix he calls functional storytelling, a simple filing system for moments from your own life.
First, drop the idea that, in the words of Phillips, you don't have to be "a bearded old man in front of a fireplace with a dark voice in order to be a great storyteller." Phillips says "everybody is a good storyteller from birth," and the only real problem is that most people do not believe it.
Second, write your stories down. Do not just think about them. Once they are on paper, Phillips says, you will notice "you have three to four times more stories in your life than you thought that you had."
Third, sort that list by the feeling each story creates. Phillips says to mark "Which of your stories make people laugh, i.e. create endorphins?" and he links laughter with becoming more creative, relaxed, and focused, and "Which make people feel empathy, i.e. oxytocin?" Then, before your next meeting, decide which feeling you need in the room and tell the story that brings that response, to get exactly the effect you want.
To try the method yourself, start tonight with ten minutes and a blank page. Write down anything memorable that happened this week, keep going until the list surprises you, and put a laugh or empathy label next to each one.
Questions people ask
What if I think my life is boring and I cannot find any stories?
Start with small, specific moments, not big life events. A difficult customer, a mistake you fixed, a time you were nervous, or something funny your child said all count. Write the moment in three to five sentences, with what happened and what changed, and you will usually find a usable story.
How long should each written story be?
Keep it short enough to tell in one to two minutes. That is usually 150 to 250 words on paper. Include just enough detail for a listener to picture the scene, and leave out backstory that does not change the feeling.
How do I know which feeling a story creates?
Test it on one person and watch what happens. If they smile or laugh, file it under humor. If they lean in, go quiet, or say that happened to me too, file it under empathy. If nothing happens, rewrite it with more detail or set it aside.