Julie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult

17 insights saved from this video by @parenting

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When a child’s accomplishments prove a parent’s worth and status, parenting perfectionism becomes an ego project.
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When older family members say “keep your options open,” they may be expressing disapproval, not offering neutral advice.
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Want to know someone beyond small talk? Ask what they would want you to know if you were really going to know them.
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You can oppose overparenting intellectually and still practice it. Recognizing your behavior is part of letting go.
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A crisis can mark adulthood when you realize the problem is yours to handle and act without waiting for rescue.
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Adulthood is taking responsibility for your body, bills, and belongings, not proving you can live alone without help.
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A windfall does not need to become a bigger lifestyle. Time and compound interest can turn money into substantial future wealth.
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Small liberal-arts colleges often deliver stronger undergraduate teaching and mentoring than large research universities focused on research and graduate students.
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Replace “I can’t” with “I haven’t learned how to do this yet.” Competence is developed, not proven in advance.
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Deciding whether to have children starts with your inner voice, your life vision, and an honest conversation with your partner.
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With both parents increasingly working outside home, families need new ways to pass everyday life skills to children.
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Peer pressure loses power when you get right with yourself, choose your path, and stay happy for others.
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Listening closely to strangers turns ordinary conversations into personal stories that reveal how people navigate adulthood.
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No single college or life path is correct. Consider many forms of education instead of elite-brand admission.
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Parenting should develop a psychologically healthy person who handles life’s difficulties, not merely high grades.
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Ask whether your community’s achievement norms are healthy for your family and child.
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Children, adolescents, and young adults are experiencing anxiety and depression at record levels across communities.

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