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Raising Kids

Parenting49 insights0 followers

@parenting
Deciding whether to have children starts with your inner voice, your life vision, and an honest conversation with your partner.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
No single college or life path is correct. Consider many forms of education instead of elite-brand admission.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Peer pressure loses power when you get right with yourself, choose your path, and stay happy for others.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
When a child’s accomplishments prove a parent’s worth and status, parenting perfectionism becomes an ego project.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Parenting should develop a psychologically healthy person who handles life’s difficulties, not merely high grades.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
A windfall does not need to become a bigger lifestyle. Time and compound interest can turn money into substantial future wealth.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Ask whether your community’s achievement norms are healthy for your family and child.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Children, adolescents, and young adults are experiencing anxiety and depression at record levels across communities.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Listening closely to strangers turns ordinary conversations into personal stories that reveal how people navigate adulthood.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
A crisis can mark adulthood when you realize the problem is yours to handle and act without waiting for rescue.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
With both parents increasingly working outside home, families need new ways to pass everyday life skills to children.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Small liberal-arts colleges often deliver stronger undergraduate teaching and mentoring than large research universities focused on research and graduate students.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
When older family members say “keep your options open,” they may be expressing disapproval, not offering neutral advice.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Want to know someone beyond small talk? Ask what they would want you to know if you were really going to know them.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Adulthood is taking responsibility for your body, bills, and belongings, not proving you can live alone without help.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
You can oppose overparenting intellectually and still practice it. Recognizing your behavior is part of letting go.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Replace “I can’t” with “I haven’t learned how to do this yet.” Competence is developed, not proven in advance.
Talks at GoogleJulie Lythcott-Haims | Your Turn: How to Be an Adult | Talks at Google
@parenting
Parents do not need universal agreement to reverse phone-based childhood. If most families participate, the collective problem is solved.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Delaying social media protects preteen girls from constant public judgment of their faces, skin, and bodies.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Children have not biologically forgotten independent play. Freedom from constant adult control brings them back to cycling and playing together.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Repeatedly facing a feared situation without disaster teaches the nervous system that the situation is safe.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
One tech company cannot restrict underage users alone without risking competitors taking them, so industry-wide regulation is needed.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Phones at lunch create continuous partial attention, splitting attention between nearby people and the device.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Take back your attention by disabling nearly all notifications and moving social media off your phone.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Social media takes about five hours daily. Add games, pornography, and other online activities, and device use reaches seven to ten hours.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Taking away extensive screen time creates an obligation to give children an engaging, autonomous, play-based childhood instead.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Schools across the country report phone use as a catastrophe for learning and discipline. That is driving phone-free policies.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Removing a child’s smartphone works better when several families do it together, replace it with a simpler device, and create real-world friendships.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Around 2012, Western teenagers’ mental health deteriorated abruptly across countries, especially among girls, without affecting middle-aged people similarly.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Social media creates collective problems that require collective action, not merely better individual choices.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Taking away one child’s smartphone can feel like social death. Coordinated removal changes the peer environment and prevents isolation.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Between roughly 2010 and 2015, childhood shifted from play-based to phone-based, creating a major generational rewiring.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Four proposed norms are no smartphone before high school, no social media before 16, phone-free schools, and more independence.
TEDAre Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED
@parenting
Children use evidence to infer causal structure, then choose different intelligent strategies for different patterns.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
Humans sit at the high-investment extreme: children mature slowly, births are usually single, and many people help raise them.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
Across species, longer childhood is associated with greater adult intelligence, especially flexibility and learning capacity.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
A gardener builds an ecosystem, not a predetermined product, allowing diverse outcomes and greater resilience.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
Simulated annealing starts with broad exploration, then gradually shifts toward focused exploitation.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
Broad, shifting attention is normal and advantageous in young children. Diagnosing three-year-olds risks pathologizing early learning.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
Four-year-olds solved the Blicket problem systematically, while adults clung to an obvious explanation when the answer was unusual.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
The preschool brain is open to possibilities but poor at goal-directed action. Around five, it becomes efficient and less flexible.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
The carpenter model treats parenting as a technical process for manufacturing a predetermined kind of adult.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
Children and adults performed alike with obvious rules. The difference appeared when the correct explanation was an unlikely combination.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
In one hunter-gatherer society, infants were breastfed by an average of four different women every week.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
No evidence shows co-sleeping, sleep training, homework practices, or stroller orientation predict children’s long-term outcomes.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
The purpose of parenting is keeping children safe and thriving while enabling exploration, not steering them toward adult outcomes.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
Parents are more like gardeners than carpenters: they create conditions where many forms of development can flourish.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
Parents matter through committed, loving caregiving, while the techniques they obsess over do not appear to matter long-term.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google
@parenting
Childhood works like simulated annealing: an early high-temperature phase encourages wide behavioral exploration, then pruning and myelination 'cool' the system to stabilize efficient, goal-directed skills.
Talks at GoogleThe Gardener and the Carpenter | Alison Gopnik | Talks at Google

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