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Everybody likes talking about themselves
Moritz's questions
In a first interview for the CFO job at Instacart, board member Mike Moritz asked the candidate about his relationship with his parents, questions he had never been asked. Moritz, then 65 and a former journalist, treated it as simple: everybody likes talking about themselves, and anyone willing to listen can ask.
Leone's version
Doug Leone does something similar, asking about you as a kid. Both investors gave the candidate language for learning about people, more willingness to ask early, and better friendships and leadership, because now there are things to ask that wouldn't have come up otherwise.
Being understood
Oprah Winfrey draws so many confessions because she believes everybody wants to understand and be understood. Being understood is a huge motivator, and the other side of it is the desire to understand the world and other people.
Why do people enjoy talking about themselves?
Diana Tamir and Jason Mitchell of Harvard reported in a 2012 study in PNAS that sharing personal information activates brain regions linked to reward, the same ones involved in food and money. In their experiments, participants even gave up a share of potential earnings to answer questions about themselves rather than about others. According to the study, about 30 to 40 percent of everyday speech is devoted to telling others about one's own experiences.
Do people like those who ask questions?
Harvard researchers led by Karen Huang reported in 2017 that people who ask more questions, especially follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners. In speed-dating events, those who asked more follow-up questions were more likely to receive second dates.
How did Moritz go from journalism to venture?
Michael Moritz, born in Wales, covered Silicon Valley as a Time magazine correspondent. In 1984 he published The Little Kingdom, a history of Apple's early years. He joined Sequoia Capital in 1986 and led the firm's investments in companies such as Google and Yahoo.
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