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She Googled him before dinner
A reluctant night out
He is an introvert and a bit nerdy, and he almost went back to the hotel, but his co-founder, a big party guy, insisted. At a table next to a group of women, he started talking to one named Alex, who wasn't a party person either. He asked for her number, she said no, and she gave him her email instead.
The Google search
Back at the hotel he wrote right away to invite her to dinner the next night, since he was leaving the following day. She didn't know whether he was real or sketchy, so she Googled him. She had studied Italian in college, so she could read the articles about him in the Italian equivalent of the Wall Street Journal, and she decided he was a normal guy. After dinner she told her best friend that he was her equivalent as a man and that if she saw him again, she'd probably marry him.
The plane ticket
Four months later, from New York, he asked if she wanted to visit. She was skeptical about an Italian guy in New York, which sounded sketchy. After about twenty minutes of going back and forth, he bought a ticket, sent it to her, and told her to come if she wanted to and that he'd understand if not. She came, and Alex went on to co-found Eight Sleep with him.
Why do people Google someone before a date?
Communication scholars Charles Berger and Richard Calabrese proposed uncertainty reduction theory in 1975. It holds that strangers seek information about each other so they can predict how the other person will behave. A search result gives a quick way to check that a stranger is who they say they are. The theory was developed years before the internet made such searches possible.
Why is an email safer to give than a phone number?
A phone number gives someone instant, direct contact, and it is often tied to messaging apps and a person's daily routine. An email can be answered whenever the recipient chooses, and a throwaway address can be dropped if the contact turns unwelcome. Many messaging apps use the phone number as the account identifier.
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