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Solitude is chosen, loneliness isn't
Solitude versus loneliness
More people live alone now than ever before, and people spend more time alone than ever before. That doesn't mean something is wrong with them. An introvert can be happy in solitude, with projects, thoughts, and writing to fill the hours.
The numbers
More than half of Americans say they feel isolated, and in 2023 only about 4% of adults went to a party on a weekend or holiday.
The opening for hosts
A gathering is an opportunity for someone who wants a break from being alone. Plenty of people dislike parties because the ones they have been to don't suit them: too overstimulating, too loud, too many people. Wherever that dissatisfaction lies is the opening to make the kind of room they want to be in.
How do researchers measure loneliness?
Psychologists define loneliness as a gap between the social connection someone wants and the connection they have, which is why the same empty evening can feel peaceful to one person and painful to another. Daniel Russell, Letitia Peplau, and Mary Ferguson published the UCLA Loneliness Scale in 1978. It asks people how often they feel left out, isolated, or lacking companionship. The scale has been revised several times and remains one of the most widely used measures in the field.
What does solitude do to emotions?
In a 2018 study by Thuy-vy Nguyen, Richard Ryan, and Edward Deci, participants who spent time alone reported less intense emotion of both kinds, pleasant and unpleasant. It lowered intense positive feelings such as excitement and intense negative ones such as anger. The researchers call this deactivation, a drop in arousal rather than a drop in mood.
Why are more Americans living alone?
Demographers point to later marriage, longer lifespans, and rising incomes as the main drivers. Widowed older adults and young adults who delay partnering make up large shares of people who live alone. According to the US Census Bureau, one-person households made up about 13 percent of American households in 1960 and about 29 percent in 2022.
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