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Texting guys through mom's hospital stay
The hospital stay
Her daughter, dating coach Sabrina Zohar, spent the whole hospital stay on her phone, trying to get guys to like her and doing everything she could to detach.
What it cost
Eight years later her mother is struggling. She forgets things, she is less present, and she has real trouble remembering. Zohar can hold the truth that she made those choices because she needed something herself at the time, and she also accepts that she is missing time with her mother that she will never get back.
Phone put away
These days her phone stays away when she is with her mom. One day her mother won't be here, and she wants her memory of these hours to be of full attention, with no screen between them.
Why do people reach for phones in a crisis?
B.F. Skinner's experiments in the 1950s showed that variable-ratio rewards, ones delivered after an unpredictable number of responses, produce the steadiest and most persistent behavior in animals. Messages, notifications, and likes arrive on a similar unpredictable schedule. A screen also gives the mind something to hold when a situation is overwhelming. Psychologists call the broader habit of steering away from painful feelings experiential avoidance, a term Steven Hayes and colleagues formalized in 1996.
How does a headache reveal hidden aneurysms?
A brain aneurysm is a bulge in the wall of an artery, and many cause no symptoms at all. They are often found by chance on a scan ordered for another reason, such as a headache. CT or MRI angiography can show the bulge and map the vessels around it. The Brain Aneurysm Foundation estimates that about 1 in 50 people in the United States has an unruptured aneurysm.
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