The era of forgettable elements

Reading about them in an elements book is a slog. Yet again, there is a silvery metallic element that is useful in optics sometimes, but not really ever. They sit at the kids table, set apart from everyone else on the periodic table.

The actinides are seated at the same table, and they include some big stars: thorium, uranium, plutonium, and americium, which is in smoke detectors. The periodic table works like a wedding seating chart, where all the people you barely know get put at one table with all the really violent people, and you feel bad about it.

From the front of the room, you wave at them. "Hey, how's it going down there? You guys are so important to us. Don't sit next to us, though."