The Gottman Institute

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse | The Gottman Institute: Relationship Behaviors that Lead to Failure

9 insights saved from this video by @relationships

@relationships
When stonewalling begins, take at least 20 minutes to calm down, then return to the conversation.
@relationships
If Four Horsemen behavior remains unchanged, relationship failure is predicted with over 90% accuracy.
@relationships
Contempt is the strongest predictor of relationship failure. It must be eliminated, not merely managed.
@relationships
Stonewalling is withdrawing from a conversation without resolving the issue. Repeated negativity can make it habitual.
@relationships
Contempt signals superiority through sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor.
@relationships
Trade criticism for an “I” statement about your feelings, followed by one positive, specific need.
@relationships
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are four destructive communication patterns linked to relationship failure.
@relationships
When conflict turns defensive, accept responsibility for at least one part of it.
@relationships
The antidote to contempt is respect, deliberately building a culture of appreciation between partners.

Keep what you found in Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse | The Gottman Institute: Rel…

A free account saves any of these cards to your Collection, and Korva resurfaces them so you actually remember.